Until further notice..CELEBRATE EVERYTHING!
We've always tried to keep this blog positive. We deal with heavy topics sometimes here at LL, and we're definitely not immune to some seriously challenging life circumstances. One of the side effects of hardship (for me) has been that I hesitate to feel happy, to feel joy, to feel like I have my feet on solid ground. It can feel like waiting for the other shoe to drop- meaning that it can seem like I'm just in between one crisis to the next. When I do feel the urge to celebrate, I think "what will go wrong next?", or "will celebrating make it more likely that something bad will happen?" or "how will I ever get anything done if I'm always celebrating where I'm at?"
Or maybe this has just been a side effect of growing up- the older I get, the more tragedy I see in myself and in people I love. It can be difficult to put one foot in the other, let alone to think about celebrating. Or maybe I was always like this, and my experiences have simply highlighted it for me.
These "arguments" in my mind against celebrating aren't logical. In fact, they're completely illogical! They don't actually make any sense and I don't have any proof that they're true, but they show up anyway. Sometimes good things seem to automatically trigger the urge NOT to celebrate, almost to hide and hope that some universal power doesn't see me happy so that it doesn't send any more tragedy my way. For this reason, gratitude can sometimes be a stressful process.
I've become aware of this pattern (awareness always being the first step), and now I want to change it and I'm hoping that everyone reading this will join me so we can bring this spirit to everything we do. So here it is: until further notice, CELEBRATE EVERYTHING! Every little (or big) thing.
Today I put my hair in a pony tail for the first time in almost 2 years.
Wednesday night, I finish classes for my master's degree and begin writing my thesis.
I continue to have free education.
Today I woke up next to the love of my life.
I had food in my house and time with my husband.
I have a job that is meaningful and allows me to live a very comfortable life.
My friends are falling in love and getting engaged and married and having babies.
Is there a list of terrible things I could put against this list? 1000% yes. But I don't want to list them, I don't want to give them that power over me or that gratification. I want to celebrate celebrate celebrate, even if it makes me nervous sometimes. Even if I'm not "there" yet, why delay the party? There is no RSVP needed, and you don't need to bring anything. I'm ready to show up to the party and I'm hoping you'll come with.
Let me know what you're celebrating, by commenting or messaging me privately-- I truly love reading your feedback. Sending you so much love, wherever you are today and I can't wait to celebrate with you very soon.