Don't talk about it, be about it
“Speak kindly to yourself..your mind hears every word you say.”
I hardly ever journal, but I did once this week. And I wrote hopes and dreams I have for next year, for the year after that, and so on. And while in that zone, the words I wrote were positive and kind and optimistic. The thing is though..this is NOT how I always speak to myself.
When we’re all in this season of considering what our 2019 will look like, I want to invite all our Loving Lately readers, and myself too, to think about how you’re speaking to yourself about your goals, dreams, and wishes.
I’ll give you a perfect example. Someone may ask me, “How’s grad school going?”. One answer I’ve given is- “Well, I’m trying to write my thesis right now”. Another answer would be (simply) “I’m writing my thesis right now.”
The biggest difference? It’s the word trying! This simple word in the middle of this response as actually really limiting and self deprecating. And we forget that we really do listen to every word we say. It seems like a slight difference but in reality those small words that qualify our goals, dreams, and wishes are a huge block when it comes to making our lives look and feel how we want them to.
Once you start to become aware of these qualifying words in your own life, peel back one more layer. Why do you think it makes you feel better, safer, more accurate to use that qualifier? For me, I’m always tempted to use “trying” when: I’m not fully committed to working on something consistently. OR I’m afraid I can’t do something or won’t finish it on the timeline I’ve promised. And adding in that word “trying” just makes me feel better. Taking a closer (but kind) look at your language about yourself isn’t so that you supervise every word you say or even feel bad about using language like this sometimes. The purpose is to open up opportunities for inquiry so that you can move forward from that block. To continue my example, my use of the word trying gives me an idea that I’m in fear or I’m not committed or both (like maybe I’m afraid to commit). And once you realize what your own specific blocks are. Like asking yourself: Why am I afraid? Why don’t I want to commit? Send love to the part of yourself that has these fears and blocks, because it’s only goal is to keep you feeling safe. Unfortunately for us, feeling safe often means we don’t ever leave our comfort zone.
And 100% of goals, wishes, and dreams require us to leave our comfort zone. See what simple language changes you can make in your own life- especially when you’re writing or speaking about your dreams for 2019. I would love to hear if you find this helpful in your own life! Wishing you love and light these holidays + 2019!
With love, Allison